Watchmaker’s Child

Playing God is much harder than it looks on TV, even with unlimited technology at your disposal. Secrets must be protected or empires crumble. This is Wendy’s story.



CEO Wendy Asks Angry Mob: “What’s Wrong with Young, Feminist Capitalism, Anyway?”


Breaking News: She may be the young heir-apparent to the Great Wealthy Wizard of the Diamond Empire and a high-tech genius in her own right. But can Wendy survive that “other” revolution going on in Cadabra – the violent overthrow of the government by a desperate and starving population?  Wendy’s flippant and “funny” remarks aren’t helping and she’s making more enemies every day. Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend…but this girl needs a miracle.

(6:59, Fairy Tale Time, Cadabra)-“Eat the Rich, Eat the Rich!” poverty-stricken people from all ends of Cadabra scream, as they rise up against the wealthy “elites” – including the notorious celebrity CEO Wendy. Talk of feminism and freedom isn’t enough to satisfy the bloodlust of the poor and disenfranchised. Wendy and her family are running out of time and she has turned most of Cadabra against her – human, talking animal, robot and monster alike!

Journalists are spreading conspiracy theories about Wendy’s strange family history. Revolutionary warriors and witches are staging violent protests. Even the neighboring kings and queens of Cadabra are losing confidence in Wendy’s people skills. For a woman with such great responsibility, she doesn’t have much charisma…nor any solutions apparently. Her latest suggestion of “suicide cafes” for the poor is a sick joke – and we’re not laughing. Maybe it’s time for this “little princess” to stop playing God and resign already.

Our calls to Diamond Headquarters and Wendy’s answering machine were answered by a customer service spambot, as usual. This woman’s refusal to talk to the press is only sinking her ship faster. Beware the Ides, kid.

Book Jacket Synopsis

(1 of 2, Slide Over One!)


Magic Notes Cheat Sheet


Plot: CEO Wendy, the second-in-command of the Diamond Empire, must play God every day to keep her people afloat. Meanwhile, journalists, horrorists witches, political enemies and an unruly mob of poor people are constantly attacking her empire. Wendy is also protecting a secret about her father Wardiz…a doozy, since revealing this secret could cost her everything. Telling the truth is not as convenient as minimizing violence. But even Wendy has a breaking point and the consequences could be world-changing.

Love Story: Pansexual, Gay, Omnisexual, Gender Fluidity

Genre: Tragic Parody, otherwise known as a mishmash of Dark Comedy, Political Allegory, War Novel and Psychological Trauma

Audience: Freethinking Adults, Millennials, LGBTQ readers, Internet fanfiction readers, BDSM activists, outliers (See Outcast Culture)

Narrator: Third Person, but a bit of an eccentric and an angry old fool who reveals his own prejudices

Major Themes: War, Life is Short, Life is Suffering, Artificial Intelligence, the Savagery of Mankind, Abuse and Recovery, Suicide, Social Isolation

Motifs: Motherhood, a will to survive and provide for one’s hungry children at any cost, anarchy, sexual revolution, rape and exploitation, the cycle of violence, eat the rich, Mariana’s Web, masochism

Symbols: Robots, disguises, high-tech computerized societies, futurist fashions

Writing Style: Comedy Drama, Sci-Fi and Fairy Tale Mishmash, Political Allegory, Psychological Trauma

Lead Characters: Wendy, Bianca, Rita, Randian, Jerry Quinn, Gemini, Aaron, Salem, Mary Melancholy

Supporting Characters: King Amram, King Satyre, Kats, Blossom, Tom Callin

Setting: Once Upon a Time (or “Cadabra”, specifically involving the Diamond Empire, the Kingdom of Gold, Fen Mien Island, the Revolution Ghetto and the Wilderness

Literary Analysis: The princess war trilogy goes in ascending order. From Princess to Saint and so the last step to the top is God.  The Female GODDESS, or Aphrodite or Shakti, is what Wendy represents, not only metaphorically speaking but also in the sense that she is the consummate politician and what they all do is play God. Politicians are sociopathic and rationalize that they must make difficult life and death decisions every day because no one else wants the job.  Anyone taking on the role of God can’t afford to exclusively good or exclusively evil.  Wendy is more of a classic anti-hero than a villain. What we have in Book 3 are several anti-conflicts.  All of these antagonists are against Wendy, making life inconvenient for her somehow, but oftentimes they don’t even realize what they’re doing.  We can only presume Wendy has a backup plan that will save civilization as we know it.

Morals: Love is multi-dimensional, the dangers of social isolation, happy endings are always possible, love can be greater than hate.




Wendy, CEO & Vice President of the Diamond Empire

Memorable Quotes

“I remember the first time I prayed.  I felt it a very queer thing to do, since I was told to pray aloud so that the omniscient one could hear me.  I remembered what they told me to pray for.  Things, blessings, protection and motivation.  They told me to keep my prayer honest above everything else.  So when that time came and I felt the words slowly inching out from my mouth, descending upon no one’s ears but my own, and having no earthly idea if anyone else was really listening, I decided only to give a prayer of thanks.

If you want people to love you, dream.  Do nothing else but dream.  Your sadness, your failure, will let you bond with other failures. But if you want people to hate you, then achieve something.  Follow your passions and check off your goals one by one.  Because the world hates successful people like us.  People who don’t stop dreaming but who stubbornly hold onto to that visualization until it comes to fruition. They hate us because we dare to stop dreaming and start creating. 

Life is suffering.  Life is sacrifice.  Life is a test.  Life is a vow.  Life is shit.  Life is unfair. We all say such vitriolic things.  So many meaningless words have been written in a desperate attempt to make sense of what we just experienced.  By the end of our lives, we hate our Gods, we tear down our country, we hurt our friends and we blame it all on our enemies.  But at the end of the line, as you breathe in your last, there is only one racing thought.  ‘If I could, I would do it all over again.’  Nobody actually has any regrets about what they are, what they’ve done.  We’re just a little sore that it has to end.  Because, like big children, all we really want is to go ride the roller coaster one more time. 

Fun Facts

  • The “Smart” Princess who loves to play God
  • CEO of the Diamond Empire, a free market society based on radical leisure technology
  • Her father is President Wardiz, though he’s been missing in action
  • A child prodigy and now a teenage executive with the world in her hands
  • Got rich by giving the people what they wanted, not what they needed
  • Is often called an ice queen, emotionally vacant, robotic and without a heart
  • Very often misquoted by the press
  • Possibly asexual
  • Everyone in Cadabra has a bone to pick with Wendy, since she’s seen as the arch nemesis of everybody
  • Uses a mass surveillance system and ultra-computer setup she calls the Watchmaker
  • Doesn’t get out too much
  • Hasn’t seen her former playmates Princess Mary or Princess Blossom in ten years





“My name is RandianI have turned eighteen today and am now a man.  And I am not *afraid*.  I have decided that I am now too big for my home. But before I help other people, I must know for myself what I am fighting for and if this way is just.  

“It appears to me that you are playing *games* with these evil men.  Instead of *removing* them from power.  If a man abuses his power, that man must be removed.  That is *my law*.  That is *my negotiation*.”

You obviously don’t know *anything* about how to start a revolution.  I am *wasting* my time with you.

You people say that you’re unhappy.  Because they are rich and you are not.  Because they have power over your lives.  The problem is not the things these stupid men do.  The problem is that they are *rich*.  And you.  Are *not*.  That is the *problem* I see.  For any man who would see a boy starving, crying for help, and then not share his riches is not a man.  He is no man *I* would respect.”

I am going to go talk to this Wardiz.  For I am afraid of nobody, no matter his riches or *technology*. If Wardiz is too afraid to show his face then he is not a man that deserves my attention.  I will go to this *Wendy*, the one brave enough to show herself, and demand that *she* explain why people are poor and starving.”

Fun Facts

  • A very tall man, in fact, a big black giant
  • Young and naive, but determined to start a revolution
  • Did he mention he’s a damn big man?
  • Over-emphasizes every sentence with indignant righteousness, hence the *Dramatic* Asterisks.
  • Likes to call people “good” and “evil”, not much for seeing the grey areas of morality and ethical behavior
  • Does not have any any family because he considers his friends his “family”
  • Doesn’t have much of a sense of humor…like at all
  • Has had a very tragic life full of strange and disturbing stories of people he knew who suffered
  • Likes to tell stories about his tragic life and the people he knew and suffered
  • Very often talks about evil people he knew, and how he made them suffer
  • Is determined to talk to either Wendy or Wardiz, about how the rich oppress the poor
  • He wants answers NOW or the rich will have to answer to him and his mob of followers
  • He goes through a significant series of events that are not at all what we expect in the beginning.
  • Randian has no sense of humor and seems miserable, churlish and angsty
  • A good “straight man” to play off the comedy of Jerry Quinn and Dark Wraith



Jerry Quinn


“My writing class a long time ago taught me to use illustrations to deliver emotional highlights in a speech. I think my problem is that I do tend to exacerbate people.  I think I just have a certain profound writing ability.  The way I put words together, it inoculates people’s values and strips away their protective veil.  I masticate truth.  I’m a masticater.  Yeah, a big masticator.

I think I want to be a talk show host because that’s what the dude on the VCR does!

“Well that’s lovely I mean, Hell, in my eyes the worst thing that could have happened was that you end up with a loser like me.  Seriously.  You deserve a big house.  You deserve a nice young, ah, you know, a nice young man to call your own.  It’s what everyone deserves. Everyone but me apparently. But don’t worry about me.  I’ve got Ziggly the Squirrel.  And I admire his nuts.  Am I right, people?  He’s got great nuts.”

No, no, don’t feel bad about me.  I’m relieved.  I mean, romance is so costly, you know.  It’s so random and such a game of wits.  It’s exhausting.  Well…I find it just ruthlessly vexing.  I don’t think guys like me are manufactured for that kind of thing.  Romance.  My life as a talk show host is compatible with the, you know, the women out there.”

Fun Facts

  • Bizarre sense of humor that makes no sense
  • Strange way of talking to people that makes no sense
  • Thinks he’s hosting a live talk show and often makes jokes to the studio audience…but no one is actually there
  • May be a high-functioning “Aspie”, as he has some problems with social interaction
  • Salem the witch’s long lost brother…he’s on a mission to find his family
  • Has a huge resume filled with hundreds of odd jobs, and jobs that make no sense
  • Tends to bluff his way through interviews…and his interview answers make no sense
  • Makes up words because most people don’t know a fake word from an obscure word
  • Just landed a job with Cadabra supervillain Tom Callin of the Outskirts
  • Is very gay but doesn’t seem to understand how romance works
  • Refers to men he likes as “lovely young ladies”
  • Surprisingly eloquent when he’s high on drugs (and aren’t we all?)





I was born on shit and I’m going to die on an even bigger pile of shit.  Why do you royals feel the need to clean us up…

No one here is better than anyone else.  We’re all orphans of Cadabra.  We have no rank.  All we have is what we have in our hands at the end of the day.  That’s something you will never understand, rich boy.

Save me? I don’t need saving.  My parents died a long time ago.  People stopped caring about me a long time ago.  I am the casual bride of scum and refuse. But let’s get one thing straight.  I have never asked anyone for a favor.  Never.

Some of the orphans…I remember the day they all got dogs as presents.  It was our first pet.  The other boys and girls, they loved those furry demons and hugged them and squeezed them and pet them.  They all hurried to the front of the line and grabbed the cutest and biggest dogs.  By the time I got there all that was left for me was a cat.  A white little kitty cat with midget legs. When I first reached out to him, expecting him to love me like a dog would, he scratched and hissed at me.  I was so terrified and then angry…until I realized that he just did it because he was afraid of me.  Everyone told me to give the cat back and put it down.  There was no hope left for such a feral creature.  But I took that cat, scratches and all and I made it love me.  And I was the center of its little universe.  Ever since then…all I’ve ever wanted were cats.  Lost creatures, angry little buggers.  The ones that cry in confusion and strike out at the ones that need the most.  Because once they love, they love just as hard as they strike.”

Fun Facts

  • A tough-talking prostitute that hates it when people pity her
  • Learned to kill a man when she was a teen and a kill vampire in her twenties
  • Hot-tempered Latina and swears like a sailor
  • Self-loathing and bitter about her shameful past
  • Hates royalty and the 1% of Cadabra’s rich kingdoms
  • Learned a lot of “tricks” when she was a pro, men have no complaints
  • She has a special undefined relationship with the “Witches” of the Wilderness
  • Has a heart somewhere, buried under that rough exterior…and then ten layers under that
  • Likes cats, not dogs
  • Likes to encourage men to take a swing at her because she always wins
  • She doesn’t know what to do with love or with compassion.  It provokes her.
  • Ironically though, when a man is strong enough to find her heart under all that rage, he truly discovers a teacher, a mother, a compassionate mentor.



The Witches


“Witches are the ones that pioneered same-sex relationships, hon. We are iconoclasts. For a long time, we have dismantled the structures that Literate Civilization has introduced with their rules and standards. We outgrew the concept of Sapphic and Two Spirit sexuality a long time ago. They are labels worn by a society with a neurotic definition of private identity. The scale of human sexuality is very complex. Those who insist they are only Sapphic or only Two Spirit are clinging to a social construct volunteered by people with a very peripheral vision of unity. It’s insulting. Thinking people realize that no one is entirely a breeder or a bumper. Much like any animal, we have the ability to adapt our bodies and sexuality according to environmental changes.

We, the outliers, the revolutionaries and the independents will burn every last trace of these democracies, monarchies and oligarchies that have plagued us for thousands of years. But people will be left. Small societies. Villages. Neighborhoods. Independent lands where people will be allowed to live happily ever after. Making crafts and jewelry. Creating art. Procreating and eating. We will live like animals. It will be anarchy. And it will be beautiful. Certainly you understand the wisdom of anarchy as opposed to the corporate world of kings and queens.”

Give me your orphans, your lost sheep and ugly ducklings, the ones you despise, the ones you pity because they’re dying. I’ll save them. I’ll give them a home. I’ll turn your trash into Great Living Art. And I will teach them not to pray, nor give vows. And they will live happily ever after, without You.”

Fun Facts

  • Somewhere beyond the Wilderness, Witches lie in wait.
  • Namely Bianca Natalie, the heretic witch, and an exiled soldier from the Commonwealth named Rita
  • They believe in anarchy – the right to reject all centralized jurisdiction and let small societies make their own rules
  • They have a few predictions about how the world is going to end and what will be left to rebuild
  • They’re not exactly licensed professionals when it comes to therapy
  • But they have uncanny powers the likes of which no witch to the west can ever fathom
  • They do so much “astral travel” they got frequent flyer miles!
  • Surgical transgender change is so yesterday. With a little magic, true gender fluidity can be achieved.
  • But how can anyone trust a coven of witches? They seem nihilistic and very often psycho!
  • Bianca wants Mary and Salem to trust her…but Rita, suffering from some sort of PTSD, is making that difficult
  • Alcohol + Horrorist Witches, doesn’t seem to go well
  • Assassinations only work if they’re done by the people you least suspect!


Read the Book!

Wendy is the real “wizard” of the Diamond Empire, a kingdom built on gadgets, robotics and a free market society.  Using her ultracomputer and her Cadabra-wide surveillance system, she can spy on everybody and plan their futures, playing God and pulling the strings.

But Wendy’s secret is spreading quickly.  Conspiracies abound about her father being dead and her entire royal ancestry being a sham.  What will the kings of Cadabra do once they find out Wendy is just a lonely teenage girl holding unlimited resources and power?

Wendy’s villains are increasing.  Conspiracy buffs, violent protesters, witch covens, assassins, vigilantes and multinational corporations are all determined to destroy the “Diamond Standard” and break the hold that the Diamond Empire has on the Cadabra economy.

It’s going to take an act of God to prevent a World War…or at least the sharp mind of a watchmaker’s child.

Although “The End of the Magical Kingdom 3: The Watchmaker’s Child” is not an age-restricted book, the story contains controversial subject matter, horrific scenes of sadism, and emotionally violent content that may trigger traumatic memories in some readers. Discretion is advised for readers under the age of 16.


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