Frequently Asked Questions (and Rude Comments)
“Who are you people?”
The End of the Magical Kingdom 1: The Evil Princess is a book by author L. M. Warren. It’s the “Tragic Parody” comedy-horror-fantasy book about a princess falling in love with a witch. Future episodes are entitled, “The Saint of Science” and “The Watchmaker’s Child”.
“What is the Magical Kingdom and why is it ‘ending’?”
Ten years ago, three little princesses-in-waiting were childhood friends. In the first scene of the book, three protagonists of the story are established: Mary Melancholy, Sweet Blossom and Wendy. Notice how they interact, how they understand the concept of time passing, and realize a new generation is coming. Their parents used to believe in the ‘Magical Kingdom of Old’. But the children believe in nothing.
“Is this a fairy tale for children?”
Not really, and the story opens with a haunting image: a fairy tale princess emerging from the darkness who just so happens to be DEAD. She was once beautiful, a belle, and now limps along looking like a zombie princess from Hell. This warns the reader of tragedy, violence and much suffering to come.
“That all sounds really gay.”
Yes, it is. For years, people have been calling for a “gay/lesbian fairy tale princess”. While that hypothetical movie may be years in the future, that doesn’t mean that we can’t use our imagination right now. Through original artwork, song lyrics, a quirky narrator and a little bit of magic, we get the definitive fairy tale musical experience, but this time reflecting our own real world and the issues that matter in the 21st century.
“So since I’m straight am I allowed to read it?”
“The End of the Magical Kingdom” series goes beyond that. This is a series that will boldly challenge the status quo of young adult and middle grade fiction. Future books will introduce Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning characters into the cartoon epic, as the struggle for freedom and happiness continues throughout the land of Cadabra.
“Why is it for 13 and up?”
This is a book that not all parents will appreciate, given the depiction of LGBTQ themes as well as themes of sex, drugs, and violence. However, this is a caricatured world that reflects our own. This series is for teenagers over the age of 13. The book comes with a warning label because of extremely violent scenes and harsh emotional intensity. However, because there is no pornographic depiction of sex the book is technically not for Adults Only. Many in the literary industry have been asking for an official “ratings” system for literature, but nothing has happened as of yet.
“OMG am I reading porn?”
There is no explicitly erotic material in the book, however there are scenes of innuendo that might offend sensitive audiences. Even the worst scenes of violence described are left to the reader’s imagination. This is a book about dangerous ideas, not offensive content. The End of the Magical Kingdom certainly pushes the envelope for how much violence, psychological torture and sexual innuendos a writer can get away with, in a faux-fairy tale book. Some people have actually complained to author L. M. Warren that they got physically ill after reading the book. Well except for Heather Warren, who just got horny.
“Aren’t you worried about Amazon being a douchebag and censoring this book?”
There is no reason to censor this book, since sexual innuendos are commonplace in teen books – that is heterosexual activity. To discriminate against LGBTQ sex would be nothing short of discriminatory. Besides, if a child is gay, or transgender, or questioning, age is irrelevant. That’s not the sort of thing you can change, or hope he grows out of. It’s a reality that you have to deal with.
“Agent says, who’s the target audience?”
“The Evil Princess” is a book that aspires to mash up the most extreme elements of across the board fiction, from surrealism and comedy to the bleakest of drama and social criticism. The book series is not just a parody but also a caricature of humanity’s frail existence, offering readers a roller coaster ride of laughter, tears and rage. The target audience is not just LGBTQ, but outliers, anti-socials and people that don’t quite fit into modern society. It’s cool now to say on Facebook that you’re a ‘freak’ or ‘weird’ or ‘nerdy’, but the truth is most popular people don’t know what it’s like to be rejected by society, or be mocked by their peers, and to lose all self-confidence because of other people’s judgments. This is a book about not feeling connected to anyone you know, even the people who are nice to you. All of the protagonists and antagonists in the coming series have trouble relating to other people. How they get along with others, and what they do about their obstacles, is at the heart of the story.
“I hope it ends happy. All fairy tales end happy.”
It would be dishonest to only show happy endings and neatly wrap everything up by the end. It would be cowardly to avoid talking about political or religious issues that affect teens today just because it tends to bother people. There are a great number of villains in the book, and it’s not always a matter of good overcoming evil. That’s certainly not the way it works in the real world. That said, there are some happy endings in the series and some not so happy endings…just like life.
“Do you like fan art?”
Of course! Take a look at this work by Regina Fetrow, as well as a Top 10 list that came with it.
10 Tips on Being a Fairy Tale Lesbian by Princess Mary Melancholy
1. “Don’t randomly sing to animals in the forest. It makes people think you’re on drugs.”
2. “Meditation and the support of your friends help…but I tell you, alcohol really makes a
3. “People with evil smiles…really are kind of evil. Don’t trust them!”
4. “Don’t wear heels when wandering in the wilderness.”
5. “Your mother is always going to give you a hard time. Now that I’ve come out her whole thing is, “You don’t seem gay enough.”
6. “Expect some sword fights.”
7. “Voodoo helps.”
8. “Don’t hold your breath on Disney to make any inspirational films to help you through this
9. “Be very careful when using the word pussy to describe your girlfriend’s cat.”
10. “Whatever you do, don’t tell Prince Charming!”
“Who is the artist behind all those amazing tri-color portrait covers?”
Sebastian Sabo, a great talent.
“Can I pirate this book?”
I hope not! Come on, L.M. Warren is a cheap date and will tell you a great story for the price of a non-alcoholic drink. But on the subject, did you know L. M. Warren is a worthless drunkard in real life? Surprising, right? Read all about it at the Author page.
“Was the book was originally designed to be a full-length animated musical?
Yes. L. M. Warren kind of postponed that when he found out how fucking hard and expensive that was. He originally asked a talented musician to help him write the music if he wrote the lyrics. The musician shall remain anonymous. Anyway, Nick then said he couldn’t work with the lyrics and then asked his pothead acquaintance from an anonymous and questionably-talented band if they could help develop the music. The bandleader was so stoned out of her mind she literally ate the sheet music and then masturbated with Nick’s cell phone, which contained part of the conversation with Warren. Needless to say, the idea was scrapped. The was originally intended to be one movie, then one book, but things kind of got out of hand with three giant books.
“Is Salem is the equivalent of a terrorist in the book since the book refers to her satirically as “horrorist”?
It’s hard to say because Salem doesn’t try to kill any one in the series without good reason, but since she is still considered an enemy of the state, it’s questionable. Of course, many powers that be are shown to be corrupt and so it could be argued that Salem is merely fighting as a soldier against an institution she was never born into, nor joined. The book intentionally raises tough questions to answer, such as individualism vs. sheep mentality, even in the face of religious and patriotic dogma.
“Is it true there is a set of hard-to-find terrarium miniatures of MARY & SALEM somewhere on the net?
YES. Kind of an odd phenomenon, isn’t it?
“Is the book (about a princess falling in love with an evil witch) a fairy tale retelling of ‘Attempted Rapture’?”
Some have commented on this theory, since Warren’s other book “Attempted Rapture” is about a preacher’s daughter and a “demonic” suitor who steals her away from her happy Christian life. Warren once wrote on Facebook that he intended to release a special “Attempted Rapture & Zombies” edition, which transformed Amara Stallart into a witch, Hal Persill into a vampire, and Anne McNamary into a werewolf. Instead of finishing this project (which presumably came because of massive drug intoxication) Warren chose instead to write The Evil Princess. The theory goes that the tornadoes in Attempted Rapture, the judgment of God, could be reincarnated into a zombie outbreak. The fact that the terrified couple survives the judgment of God, is parallel to the final act in The Evil Princess, where Mary and Salem survive what appears to be certain death. Warren admits that Attempted Rapture may have inspired The Evil Princess, but that there are many nuances unique to the series (political as opposed to religious) that simply were not present in his earlier books. Nevertheless, you may see some eerie parallels when reading Attempted Rapture and The Evil Princess.
“Is Mary Melancholy a terrible feminist and does she set the feminist movement back to the Snow White 1930s era?”
This is a tricky question to answer. Mary is a parody of a Disney princess and is thereby, inhabiting the same anti-feminist qualities as Snow White, Belle, Ariel and Jasmine. Belle tolerated violent outbursts and manipulative behavior from the Beast. Jasmine tolerated Aladdin’s chronic lying. Ariel figured it was better to seduce a man with looks and body language than to talk and show her personality. And Snow White and Sleeping Beauty…well, let’s just say they thought rape was kind of romantic.
Of course, being an anti-feminist character didn’t make these princesses unwatchable or uninteresting . It simply made them complicated heroes. Keep in mind that more modern Disney feminists—like Pocahontas, Mulan and Merida—are evolutions of the old Disney princess archetype. They are socially-aware improvements made over time, something that we only now have the environment in which they can thrive. This original Disney Princess archetype was based on stories from the Brothers Grimm, who didn’t understand modern feminism in the 21st century, but simply created a fictitious world of horror and lore, along with moralistic stories that were intended to scare children—not promote positive role models.
It is a very trendy thing today to paint every female character as intelligent, confident and kick-ass; a world conquering, Amazonian female that just happens to look beautiful and be 17 or 18 years old. In that respect, Mary Melancholy was conceived as an anti-hero, one that would be polarizing because she wore her weaknesses in plain view and tolerated great injustice from other people. In addition to being self-conscious, self-loathing and depressive, she is also socially awkward, in a time where every mainstream female character knows exactly the right thing to say. In other words, Mary is a fairly realistic character in an imaginary world, and the type that many will find provoking because she hits far too close to home. She represents everyone’s worst social fear—people laughing at you, pushing you around and dominating your life because they’re so smart and you’re so stupid. It’s not true but it’s the illusion that you buy into, if you trust people too much.
Mary, much like my other literary anti-heroes, is a woman you will instantly despise or admire, because there is something very Christ-like about her. She is the feminine Jesus Christ. A prophetess. A Gandhi-esque figure, living in the shadow of her Goddess, who was the perfect representation of feminism and falling short of that. To say that Mary should be more of a feminist is…(1) Not realistic, because very few teenagers have a full sense of their identity or where their own unique feminism will take them in life. It’s a gradual learning process that culminates in their 20s or 30s. (2) Is contrary to the suffering of Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi and other righteous figures (or self righteous, if you’re a cynic), who tolerated violence from humanity so that they could teach a lesson in showing great mercy. (3) Is taking for granted that in modern society we have the gift of mass communication, an age of tolerance, and a politically-correct mafia that will come to your aid whenever you are being oppressed. This was not always the case in human history; certainly not in medieval times or the renaissance, where many Disney films are set. Even growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, I can definitely say many minority lifestyles were oppressed by the mainstream and it did seem that when you “came out”, you really didn’t have a friend in the world. To me, feminism is not about society coming together to help you because it’s the right thing to do…it’s about you, standing alone, and realizing that you can be better than them. You can be stronger than you think you are. And you can aim higher. (4) To misunderstand the nature of the “Anti-Hero”. The Evil Princess is a literary work and an impostor genre piece. To be anyone else but Mary would be untrue to her character.
In episode 2 of the “The End of the Magical Kingdom: The Saint of Science”, Mary will continue to grow as a moral activist and pacifist, and will continue to provoke people who stubbornly see morality as black or white.
“Is it true your former SEO Consultant spent $10,000 on a cheesy gif graphic, which led to his firing?”
Not quite that much.
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