The Author

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Who is L. M. Warren, besides a Latino revolutionary and anti-establishment writer who wants to change the world? Are all the urban legends you’ve heard about him true? Fake news?

 

 

Urban Legends About L.M. Warren

 

  • L.M. Warren is a freelance writer, humorist, novelist and prophet. – TRUE
  • The author was originally born in Los Angeles, California before moving to Texas, right in the dreadful “tornado alley.” – PARTIALLY TRUE
  • Actually, he now resides somewhere in the Carolinas, believe it or not. – TRUE
  • During his youth, he studied Journalism, Religion and Law rather than cavorting about with his playmates. – TRUE
  • That wasn’t much fun, was it? – DEBATABLE
  • Warren used to be a minister / holy man but abandoned his faith to write fiction. – LIKELY, BUT CAN WE PROVE IT?
  • Warren’s sermons in church were very violent and disturbing. They didn’t go over very well to a mostly Christian audience. – UNKNOWN
  • His books are best described as “tragic parodies” in that they combine comedy, drama, social satire and horror. – TRUE
  • He is also known as Late Mitchell Warren and Mitchell Warren – TRUE
  • He will ignore you if you call him “Hey Mitchell Warren!” – DOUBTFUL
  • L. M. Warren is a pen name – TRUE
  • His real name is Mahershalalhashbaz Warrenski – FALSE
  • He is a Latino-American…and constantly reminds people of this. – POSSIBLY TRUE
  • He is a vegetarian and constantly reminds people of this. – EXAGGERATED HALF-TRUTH
  • He is a failed vegan. – VERY LIKELY TRUE
  • His story Real Estate in Deltosa was published in Chimeraworld #6 – TRUE
  • In addition to his other novels, he also wrote a bunch of crap interesting nonfiction books for FabJob.com, as Goodreads reports – TRUE
  • He wrote something about female condoms – FALSE, there is another Mitchell Warren who writes articles for The Huffington Post, wrong guy!
  • His articles at Subversify.com have gone viral several times, including stories on Planet X / Nibiru, Christine Chubbuck, the Death Penalty, Freedom of Religion, and some weird expose about the movie Milo & Otis. – TRUE
  • He occasionally writes short stories like Unsolicited SubmissionCrumpled Flowers and God Lives in a Car Lot. – TRUE
  • He sometimes dabbles into film / television / book / play criticism including reviews of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, SOAP, SeinfeldThe Hogs of Cold Harbor, The Icelandic Accord, The Larry Sanders Show and other films. – TRUE, I GUESS?
  • He occasionally writes travel articles…but these experiences never go very well. For example, he was recently banned from Snaggy Mountain after reading a three-hour long Chicken Parable to poor Jared – UNKNOWN
  • He likes to write funny stuff occasionally, like crazy shit about Skeletor, Death, Exorcism, and Talking to Animals. – TRUE
  • He answers dumb questions on Quora Q&A and Reddit Profile – POSSIBLY TRUE, WHO KNOWS?
  • He occasionally dances on cam via Chaturbate – FALSE
  • He really likes urban legends apparently. – DEFINITELY

 

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Ready to Have Dinner with an (Almost) Very Successful Author?

Want to buy Warren a drink for his charms?  In exchange, he’ll tell you a nice story and make you feel like the center of the universe for the whole night!  Why wonder about the things that might have been? Just follow your heart and ask L.M. Warren out on a date! That’s right, you can have a virtual private dinner with author L.M. Warren (Late Mitchell Warren) as you read his WRITER’S COMMENTARY Blog @ Blogspot, which is a direct chapter-by-chapter discussion on all symbolism, craft and personal motivation in writing the book.

Believe it or not, this is the best one-on-one date simulation possible. It’s very likely that in real life, Warren would just bore you all night talking about his book, sipping wine, and wouldn’t go for any action. Yes, he’s that narcissistic and pedantic, go figure!  Order the book and then sit down for an in-depth discussion with the author as you read. His blog also takes questions from readers so if you’re confused about the stoned fairy in Chapter 14 or something, don’t hesitate to ask.

 

Confused? You might be after tuning into the latest episode of The End of the Magical Kingdom. If you have questions, L. M Warren has answers. Contact him through email or through his online social networks. 

 

Contact

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